


A Time Before The End

by Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone's aging, Immortal Husbands angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, and Alec feels weird about it, but ends up saying things he doesn't mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13550223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story/pseuds/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story
Summary: After having a few too many drinks, Alec ends up getting into an arguement with his husband and saying a lot of things he doesn't mean.But that doesn't make the mental insecurities go away.





	A Time Before The End

**Author's Note:**

> "could you write a future fic where alec has turned immortal and his siblings are all in their mid 50s and it shows on their face. This starts to depress alec and one day he gets drunk and says something along the lines of maybe regretting it to Magnus and Rafael (he doesn't) but Magnus thinks he does and feels hurt and starts to distance himself and alec fixes it. In turn Magnus reassures him about his siblings. And in alecs pov when he realises what he did wrong." was the prompt. <3  
> \-----
> 
> https://shadow-bellum.tumblr.com/ is my tumblr account, side blog, but my inbox is open! (I like writing angsty Magnus stories, no offence to Alec, but I gotta get my fill for those somewhere. There really isn’t enough of them.
> 
> If you’ve got any requests/prompts that have triggering subjects, feel free to send them too. I can write most of those as well. If not, I’ll make a post about it either putting it up for adoption or something.) :D

It wasn’t like this is how he meant to spend his day, laying in bed with a bottle rum that he couldn’t stand, but was putting up with it just because he didn’t want to think anymore.

He hated going to the Institute anymore, seeing all those people he grew up with, growing up and getting older. It showed on all of them. Isabelle was nearly 50 and while she still could rock a pair of stilettos and a dress, the wrinkles that lines her eyes whenever she smiled reminded him of the fact that he wasn’t aging. He didn’t look older than 24.

Because he stopped aging at 24.

And the rest of them kept going, Isabelle, Jace, Clary and Max. All of them look closer to their age. Max had married and had kids.

Clary was pregnant and married to Jace.  

And he had done that, he had married Magnus when he was 24, two years after they first met. A few years down the line they adopted Max and Rafael, who he loves with all his heart, but it didn’t always feel like enough sometimes.

Sometimes he wishes he looked like his siblings, just so they still…looked the same age. So he didn’t look like he could be their son!

That’s why he hadn’t let the bed all day, he didn’t want to snap at Magnus or the kids because he knew none of this was their faults, but things don’t always happen like he hopes.

~~—-~~

“Darling? Are you alright?” He woke up a few hours later, curled on the floor of the bedroom with a tilted bottle on the floor. He looked up at Magnus’ unaged face and tried not to grimace, just because he didn’t want to think about all that right now.

“‘M fine,”

Magnus frowned, kneeling down in front of him and grabbing his hand.

“Alexander, please talk to me. You’ve been in here for three days.”

Alec shook his head, taking his hand back and standing up.

“It’s nothing.”

Magnus followed him slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed while Alec paced.

“You might feel better if you let someone in.”

Alec paused, letting out a small, annoyed breath before turning to him, taking a long gulp from the bottle.

“You wanna know what’s bothering me? I regret this!”

Magnus frowned and scrunched his eyebrows.

“Regret what?” He asked quietly.

“All of this!” Alec motioned around him. “I regret giving up my siblings for this, I just wish I could be  _normal_  again.”   
Magnus flinched back.

“You mean mortal?”

“Yeah,” Alec snapped, throwing the bottle at the wall and it shattered on contact. “I swear if I could, I’d go back and make sure I never did that fucking ceremony!”

“T-that ceremony…was our wedding…” Magnus breathed out, his fists clenched in the blankets as his eyes stayed on the broken bottle.

“Yeah, well.” Alec said coldly, causing him to look up. “Look how that turned out.”

Magnus shook his head at the swaying figure. “Yo-you don’t mean that…”

“Yeah. I do. I should have never done this. I could have had a normal life! And now I’m going to watch my  _entire_  family die!”

Magnus felt like the air had been knocked out of him and he blinked back the tears that were struggling to fall.

“Your entire family?”

Alec nodded with a huff.

“What about our children? What about me?”

“What about it?”  
“Are…” Magnus froze, his lip trembled. “Are we not family to you?”

It felt like someone stabbed him in the heart when Alec didn’t answer, just choosing to turn and walk into the living room with a small, barely noticeable shake of his head.

~~—-~~

Magnus had kept what happened to himself, not wanting to stress the kids about it. He knew they noticed though.

He spent most of his free hours in his study now, trying to, despite all the crying he couldn’t stop himself from doing, find a way to somehow…turn his…turn Alec mortal again.

It hurt a lot, the thought that the other man not only regrets becoming immortal to be with him, but that he regrets  _marrying_  him.

Marriage had always been one of those beautiful things that he never thought he would have, and then Alec came along. He thought he’d found the one.

The one that would actually love him forever.

It hurt so badly to think that…maybe after all these years, it really was something to do with him.

That he was the problem. It wasn’t just the normal excuses like “it’s not that serious”. It was him…because why else would Alec feel like this?

He honestly thought they had been doing amazingly, he thought he was doing things right for once.

But maybe Camille was right.  

He’s just not the one…people actually fall in love with. He’s not the one people would stay for.

And that hurt more than anything.

To think that it was something he did that drove Alec away, even though he tried…tries his hardest constantly…

It’s not enough.

~~—-~~

Alec woke up a few days later with a killer headache and memory loss, cursing himself for letting himself go like that. He sat up with a yawn and glanced to the side of the bed, letting a frown cross his face when he realized Magnus wasn’t there and it was 3 in the morning.

He got up after taking a few painkillers, walking slowly through the quiet house until he saw that the light in the study was on. Alec opened the door slowly, smiling lovingly at Magnus, who was sleeping on top of a large stack of papers. He walked around the desk, reaching out to wake him up when he noticed some of the writing on the papers.

He recognized some of it from their wedding, from when he decided once and for all that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Magnus, but then it changed into a different type that he understand.

“Babe,” He shook his shoulder gently, letting go when the other man moved, sitting up quickly with a yawn.

The first thing he noticed was that the books surrounding them were all opened to pages/spells regarding mortals, the second thing was that it was obvious his husband had been crying.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” He knelt down in front of him, grabbing onto his knees and staring concerndly at him.

“Alec?” Magnus smiled slightly, reaching out like he wanted to touch him, but pulled back. “How’re you feeling?”

“Hungover…And with a large part of my memory gone.”

Magnus tensed and bit his lip.

“Do you remember from a few days ago?”  
Alec shook his head with a frown. “Should I?” Magnus didn’t answer, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he stopped, looking down at his lap as tears filled his eyes.

“Babe, what happened?”

Magnus shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand.

“Did I say something?”

Magnus snorted, rubbing his eyes and looking up at him with an almost glare.

“Yeah, you did.” He choked out, licking his lips nervously. Alec almost pulled away, the sinking feeling in his stomach physically hurt. “A-and I…” Magnus looked over at the papers and tears dripped out of his eyes. “I just need some time.” He said, wiping away the tears and getting up, ignoring Alec’s protests as he walked away.

~~—-~~

Alec wasn’t 100% sure what he said, Magnus had been avoiding him for the past three days so he hadn’t been able to ask him again, but he got a better idea of it when he got home one day and a small stack of papers were sitting on the bed.

He was pretty sure they were Magnus’, but he couldn’t help himself from flipping through them.

He hoped maybe there would be a clue about what had upset his husband, and then he saw it.

He recognized this.

From when he was trying to find a spell to become immortal…

This was the spell to become  _mortal_.

He heard the bedroom door open and he turned around slowly, still holding the papers.

“Alexander…”

“What’re these?”

Magnus stood a bit straighter, crossing his arms.

“It’s a spell.” He could almost hear the duh in his voice.

“Yeah, no shit. Why are you looking into a spell on how to become mortal. Why would you…”

Magnus looked down, fiddling with his shirt. “It’s not for me.”

“What?”

Magnus sucked in a breath, looking up at him with tearful eyes. “It’s for you.”

It was like those were trigger words and somehow that fight came back to him, the memory of screaming and shouting about things that he decided to do, and that he loved.   
Alec gaped at him, covering his mouth as he sat on the bed. “Oh angel…”

“You remember now, don’t you?” Alec nodded.

“I didn’t mean that.”

Magnus sighed, stepping forward towards him.

“Darling, I…I understand that it’s hard…Watching your family grow old a-and…and die…I can’t give back the years you haven’t, but I-I can give you this.” He motioned to the papers and tears dripped from his eyes, his voice cracking.

“Babe.”

“It’s okay. We’ve had a good run. The boys are grown up a-and living on their own…” Magnus paused, almost like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. “I understand if you want to leave now…” Alec barely heard him even though he was standing in front of him. “I won’t blame you,” Magnus met his eyes, hazel staring into slitted yellow cat eyes. “I…I know I should have prepared for something like this…But I really thought…” His voice snapped and he looked away, quickly wiping away the tears.

Alec couldn’t speak, he was so…horrified with himself and what he’d said that he couldn’t bring himself to try and defend it.

“I thought this was going to be it…T-that you were,” He motioned to Alec vaguely. “The one…” He smiled sadly at him, a look that seemed used way too many times from how tired he looked doing it. “But I’m use to people leaving, a-and I thought…Maybe it’s them, maybe it’s the time, but…no…It’s me.”

Alec pushed himself quickly off the bed the second his knees gave out, catching him by the waist and lowering them both to the ground.

“Wh-what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing, no, babe.” Alec pulled back slightly, cupping Magnus’ face in his hands. “There’s nothing wrong with you, I’m so…So sorry I said all those things. I,” He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Magnus’ forehead. “I love you so much, Magnus. That’s not going to change.”

“You said w-we’re not family to you…T-that I’m…I’m not family to you…”

“You are, I can’t say I know why I said all that. I’ve been upset recently that the others are aging, and I was avoiding you and the boys during those few days because I didn’t want to take it out on you. But I swear, I didn’t mean any of that.”

Magnus sniffled, looking up at him with tears streaming down his face.

“I love you so much, it’s not even fair how much I love you.”

“C-can you just hold me?”

“Yeah.” Alec said quickly, wrapping his arms around the other man and pulled him into his lap, curling around him.

“You really didn’t mean any of that?”

“No, I swear. You and the boys are my family, you’re my everything. I’m gonna spend forever convincing you of that.” Alec kissed his forehead gently, letting his own tears fall as he tightened his grip. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed, please let me know if you did, even if it's just a heart or a good job!! It means the world to me!! <3


End file.
